Anyone not of a controlling or abusive nature, finds it hard to understand how somebody can be that way. A person on the receiving end of an abuser’s behavior can find it almost impossible to escape, even though it is their deepest desire. They are too afraid.
One would think it would be just a matter of deciding to get the heck away to safety. It is not that simple. Usually, by the time you realize the person you have trusted with your love is an abuser, you have been brain-washed into thinking you are worthless; mentally weak; ugly and not worthy of attention. You have become a person of no self-esteem. You no longer have confidence in yourself or your ability to function away from the controller in your life. In other words – YOU NEED HELP!
So how do you know if your relationship is not healthy? Consider some of the following:
Do you have to ask for money?
Are you threatened in any way?
Are you made to feel unimportant? Stupid? Ugly?
Do you suffer insults?
Can you question your partner without fear?
Are you free to leave the house when you choose?
Do you have to report every move?
Does he/she say they will commit suicide if you leave?
…….. the list can be very comprehensive. You will be so used to the abuse that you might relate to all these and more, without identifying yourself as a victim. You accept everything that goes wrong as being your fault – or justify that the other person is really a good person, but cannot help getting angry. WRONG!
If you are in a safe place right now – check this link. http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Power+and+Control+Wheel+PDF&qpvt=Power+and+Control+Wheel+PDF&FORM=IGRE
Then decide if that’s how you want to continue to live.