The Elephant in the Room

The death of a loved-one is never easy to bear. The gaping hole that is left behind, in your family, home, heart is a daily reminder of what once was. The loss is particularly hard when major holidays come around. Christmas being one. The normalcy of life is not the same. There is always an empty place in your family.

The pain of grief is made more intense when the name of the person is not spoken. It becomes an elephant in the room, as family members hold back from speaking the name of the deceased person, for fear of upsetting others. Yet, surely, it must be spoken; the tears must flow; only then can the healing of the spirit and heart begin.

Have you lost someone special this past year. I have. My youngest son, Tony.

He died unexpectedly, leaving my family devastated. The months that have passed since it happened have been difficult. The empty spot – unfillable. The saving grace, for me, has been the incredible support from friends, family and church family. Their amazing love and care has helped make the loss manageable.

So, if you have suffered death in your family, or even in your social circle, honor that person, by speaking their name – often; sharing your thoughts, reliving the happy memories they helped to create.

TONY you were loved beyond words. You left behind a beautiful family, along with a legacy of integrity, kindness, unconditional love, and a strength beyond words. We will miss you, forever, and will always be proud of you.

The price of love can be high. The peace of love lost, when death intrudes. Faith becomes a balm in such times.

God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Find the spiritual peace that you long for in the Bible, and in the support of a caring church family.

Christmas will never be the same without you, but we (our family) will endeavor to create a new normal, and celebrate the birth of Christ in a new way.

I pray that you will find the strength to do the same.


Help can be found at this website.

1 thought on “The Elephant in the Room

  1. More tears for me but loved your post, love you. Jim

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